Better Than Nothing
by FoolsRushIn
Summary: Robin gets drunk and Barney takes care of her. Set after 7x19, The Broath.
1. Chapter One

Barney was jarred awake by a loud noise. He looked around and quickly realized it was his phone. He glanced at Quinn to see if it had woken her up, but she was still sleeping soundly. He scrubbed his hand over his face giving himself a second to wake up before flipping the phone open. He didn't even think about checking the caller ID, but he figured if someone was calling him at almost three in the morning they would have a damn good reason. At least, he hoped they would.

"Go for Barney," he mumbled quietly slipping out of the bedroom.

"Baaaarneeeeey!" A very drunk voice on the other end of the line cheered. A voice he instantly recognized as Robin Scherbatsky.

"Robin?" He asked feeling a bit more awake now.

"Yup, that's me. Robin Scherrrbatsky," she giggled. "That's a funny name."

"What are you doing?" He could hear the worry in his voice and he wanted to chastise himself for being worried. Robin was a big girl she could take care of herself.

"Having drinks with my new best friend!" He heard a distinctive male voice mutter something in the background and his stomach churned. Where was she? Who was she with? Was she safe? He hoped to God she was, but he had to resist the urge to instantly run to wherever she was. He had Quinn now.

"Your new best friend?"

"Well yeah, we can't be around each other, plus you have Quinn. Ted won't talk to me. And Marshall and Lily are having a _baby_," she spat out the last word like it was a curse and he briefly wondered what happened because he thought she was happy for them. He quickly moved on to the rest of her little speech, though, and he felt a pang in his chest when he realized how lonely she sounded. And it hurt even more that everything she said was true. He couldn't remember the last time they'd even had a one-on-one conversation and he knew what Ted's issue was, but it still wasn't fair to Robin.

"Where are you?" He asked, but she totally ignored him.

"But you know what? It doesn't matter! Because, because I have Carl." He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized she was at MacLaren's. At least she would be okay there. "And you know, I've got my new job. Even if it is with Sandy Rivers." He wanted to tell her how proud he was that she finally got her dream job, but he bit his tongue. He could tell her another time (even though he knew he never would). "And so what if Ted won't return my calls and Lily totally forgot about me and Kevin dumped me and you replaced me?" He wanted to interrupt her, to say something, anything, but he wasn't really sure what to say. She quickly continued before he even had the chance. "And Quinn is great. She really, really is. It's so great that you guys moved in together. I'm so happy that you're dating her. It's super awesome." He sighed. He knew Robin was lying, mostly because she sucked at it, especially when she was drunk. He heard some kind of commotion and then a rustling noise.

"Look, I don't know what's up with you guys and normally I would help her get home but she doesn't live upstairs anymore and I don't think she can get there safely by herself." Carl said and Barney nodded, even though Carl couldn't see him.

"I'll be right there." He dressed quickly and slipped out the front door of his apartment (he still had a hard time thinking about it as Quinn's too). He was thankful that he had years of experience sneaking out of apartments because he wouldn't be able to explain this trip to Quinn.

He instantly spotted Robin. She was slumped over at the bar; honestly, he was surprised she was still sitting up straight. "Robin," he called tapping her on the shoulder. She looked at him in confusion and he quickly explained. "Carl asked me to take you home." Robin turned to Carl and glared at him.

"I told you I could get home by myself." Carl laughed.

"You can't even stand up."

"I can too!" She grumbled stumbling off the stool and struggling to catch herself on the bar. Barney grabbed her waist and quickly helped stabilize her.

"Alright, time to go." He announced steering her out toward the door. She swayed on her feet every so often and he kept his hands out waiting to catch her. He tried not to touch her anymore than necessary though. Touching Robin had always been dangerous. He got them safely in a cab and looked to Robin for an address. He realized he didn't even know where she lived. "So, you got a new apartment?" He asked after she gave an address. He saw her face sober and she didn't look anywhere near as drunk as she'd been before.

"Had to. I moved out for Ted, then he gave the apartment to Marshall and Lily. And I didn't want to fight with him for Quinn's." She shrugged and glanced out the window. Suddenly Barney realized what an ass Ted had been lately and he shook his head. Some things never change. But he understood Robin's need to get drunk, to forget, to do anything to not think for a night. "I'm sorry," she said quietly after a long silence.

"It's fine. I wasn't sleeping anyway." He smiled. It might have been a lie, but he wasn't above that.

"I meant for the whole Kevin thing." He froze, but she continued to talk. "I was afraid and I made a dumb decision. But it's for the best because you deserve so much better than me. I'm such a mess." She shook her head and he could see the tears in her eyes. He hated that only drunk Robin was honest, because they really needed to have this conversation sober. "Plus, you want babies and I couldn't give them to you even if I wanted to."

"What?"

"But it's fine because I don't want them. It's not like I pictured a blonde boy in a suit or anything because that would just be insane." She giggled and he quickly reminded himself that she was beyond drunk. He would just have to remember this conversation in the morning. "Oooh, look we're here!" Robin stumbled out of the cab, while Barney was still distracted by her last statement. What had she meant by that? The cabbie cleared his throat grabbing Barney's attention and he quickly jumped into action. He handed the guy some money and bounded toward Robin, who was very slowly making her way in what he assumed was the general direction of her apartment. He quickly caught up to her and followed closely. He hated that he wasn't entirely sure where they were going. He should know where Robin lives. And he couldn't help but feel like an incredibly shitty friend. Under normal circumstances, not only would he know where Robin lived, but he'd probably have a key.

Actually, under normal circumstances he would've taken Robin back to his apartment. It was closer to MacLaren's than this place was, but he couldn't take her back there because Quinn was there. He turned back to Robin and let out a little laugh when he watched her trying to fit the key into the lock. She glared at him and he took the key out of her hand, pushing the apartment door open.

"Wow," he mumbled entering the apartment. It was big, bigger than he was expecting and everything about it was so completely Robin.

"Nice, riiiight?" Robin asked enthusiastically shutting the door.

"I see why you gave Quinn's apartment to Ted now." He joked and she faltered.

"Yeah, yeah. This apartment is great." She said unconvincingly. He and Robin definitely needed to have an in depth conversation once she was sober. She had revealed too much for him to simply ignore all of it. "You can leave now. You served your duty." She turned to face Barney, who had followed her into her room.

"Once you're in bed." She sighed and climbed in her bed and flipped the covers over herself.

"Happy now?"

"Ecstatic," he laughed backing out the doorway. "Goodnight." He opened the door ready to leave, but he realized there was one last thing he had to do. She was going to wake up with a killer hangover in the morning. He could at least do something to make it easier. He grabbed a bottle of water from her fridge and a couple aspirin from the cabinet. He quietly made his way back to her room placing the objects on her nightstand. He thought she was sleeping, so when she spoke up he jumped.

"Barney?"

"Yeah?" He responded looking down at her.

"Can you stay?" She asked in a quiet voice. "Just for a little." She amended. He paused internally weighing his options. Of course he wanted to stay with Robin, it was _Robin._ But he should go home and get in bed with his girlfriend, with Quinn. Although, when did he ever do what he should do?

"Yeah," he stepped out of his shoes and shrugged off his shirt before climbing into bed with Robin.

"Thank you," she whispered from her side of the bed. He found Robin's hand under the blankets and gave it a tight squeeze. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. It was just reminding him of what he couldn't have, but honestly, right now, it was okay with him. Robin was letting him in for one night and one night was better than nothing.


	2. Chapter Two

_So, originally I planned this as a oneshot, but a couple people asked me to continue. I went back and re-read and figured I could probably tie up some loose ends. So, I wrote this chapter up. I think maybe this will end up being 3-4 chapters depending on how I feel. Not sure what's going to happen yet. But I hope you like it! And thanks for all your reviews and such. It means a lot!_

* * *

Robin groaned. Her head was pounding, it literally felt like it was going to explode. She rolled over and jumped when her body hit a hard object. She very slowly opened her eyes and was greeted with Barney's face. "Barney?" She whispered staring at him. She blinked several times and kept waiting for him to disappear. What the hell was Barney doing in her bed? She glanced down at herself and was relieved to find they were both still fully clothed. At least she didn't sleep with him. She just didn't know how he got here. The last thing she remembered was talking to Carl at the bar.

"Guess I fell asleep," he laughed running a hand through his hair.

"Wh-wh-what are you doing here?" She was too hungover to comprehend what was going on. She and Barney were barely friends yesterday and today she woke up with him in her bed.

"Uh, you don't remember?" She shook her head slowly trying not to make any sudden movements. "You called me around 3 a.m." He laughed and her head fell into her hands.

"God, Barney. I am so sorry."

"It's alright." He shrugged. "But I have to get to work, so I'll leave you to your hangover." He smiled and gestured to the water and aspirin on her end table.

"Thanks," she muttered taking a sip.

"No problem." Barney started to make his way out, but paused in the doorway. "Hey, will you be at the bar tonight?"

"Uh, I-probably not. Ted's night," she shrugged by way of explanation.

"Screw Ted. C'mon, please just come down tonight?"

"I-" She stuttered trying to come up with another excuse. "Fine, I'll be there." Barney flashed her one last smile before walking out the door. She went into panic mode the minute Barney went out the door. She sat on her bed and concentrated, tried to remember anything that had happened the night before. She knew nothing happened between her and Barney. After all, Barney was dating Quinn, but she wanted to know what the extent of their conversation had been. There were a lot of things going on in her life lately, a lot of things Barney didn't know about, a lot of things Barney shouldn't know about. She took a deep breath willing herself to calm down, but she couldn't. Her chest felt tight and her heart was beating rapidly. It was taking everything in her to not call up Barney and ask him what exactly had been said last night. Although, he hadn't said anything really at all before he left. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe that meant she had steered clear of all the uncomfortable topics; her obvious dislike of Quinn, the whole mess that was her relationship with Kevin, and probably the biggest thing she had kept from Barney, her infertility. She picked up her phone and dialed Lily's number. She needed to talk to someone about this and Ted was clearly out of the question.

"Hey, Robin!" Lily answered cheerily.

"Lily! Are you busy? Can you come over?"

"Whoa, slow down, sweetie. I'll be there in 20, okay?" Lily said gently. Robin could hear the concern in her voice, but Robin was too hungover and panicked to really calm Lily down. Robin paced the entire time she waited for Lily. She tried to sit, but ended up jiggling her knee nervously anyway. Robin bounded toward the door as soon as Lily knocked on it. Before Lily could ask her anything, Robin started talking.

"I did something stupid." Lily's eyes widened.

"What did you do?" Robin looked shamefully at the ground. "Robin. What did you do?"

"I drunk dialed Barney last night." She sighed sitting down on the couch and Lily sat down next to her.

"That's not so bad," she said comfortingly putting her hand on Robin's arm.

"He spent the night."

"No! No no no, you didn't! Robin he has a girlfriend!"

"We didn't sleep together!" Robin instantly defended. "We just fell asleep together…"

"How did that happen?" Lily asked curiously.

"I can't remember…" Robin admitted. "Barney said I called him around 3 a.m. and he brought me home."

"And he stayed the night?"

"Well, I woke up and he was in my bed."

"That's not that big of a deal, so you're going to need to explain why you called me in complete panic this morning." Lily commanded looking directly at Robin.

"I just- I can't remember anything that happened. I do-don't know if I said anything to him." Lily took a deep breath and repositioned herself on the couch.

"I know we haven't talked about this since Punchy's wedding, but, Robin, do you have feelings for Barney?"

"What? NO! That's ridiculous. Of course I don't have feelings for Barney." Robin said in a high-pitched voice.

"You're using your truth voice."

"That's not a thing!" She immediately protested, but Lily nodded. "Anyway," she sent a glare to Lily before continuing. "I'm meeting him at MacLaren's tonight and you and Marshall have to be there."

"Sorry, we can't. We promised my dad that we'd have dinner with him."

"Lily!" Robin whined.

"Why is it so hard for you to be around Barney lately? You guys barely hang out alone together. You used to be partners in crime." She observed and Robin stared at the ground avoiding Lily's eyes. "Robin," she prompted gently. So then Robin told her about everything. How they slept together in November, how she was supposed to break up with Kevin to be with him, how he broke up with Nora, then the subsequent pregnancy scare. "Wow, that's a lot."

"So now you understand why I can't have drinks alone with Barney."

"Because you're still in love with Barney."

"Lily! Did you listen to anything I just said?"

"Yes. You chose Kevin because you were scared of how much you love Barney, but, sweetie, you can't live your life being afraid." Lily said softly putting her hand comfortingly on Robin's arm.

"Look, Barney's happy with Quinn. It doesn't matter how I feel." Robin said trying to convince herself more than Lily.

"Of course it matters."

"But it can't matter. I hurt him. I blew my chance. I don't deserve a second chance and Barney's certainly not going to give me one. He's happy right now and that's all that matters." Robin finished effectively ending the conversation. She didn't want to be lectured by Lily and she didn't want to talk about Barney. She knew she couldn't ditch Barney tonight, but she figured they could at least avoid emotional topics. It's not like they ever made a point to talk about them before. Even when they'd been on the verge of getting back together in November very few words about feelings had been spoken. It just wasn't like Barney and Robin to talk about their feelings and she was extremely glad. They could have a nice, casual, throw-away conversation without it being a big deal. And that's exactly what was going to happen.

* * *

Once the door was closed behind him, Barney stopped to lean on it. He had forgotten what waking up next to Robin was like. Even completely hungover and in her clothes from last night, she was still beautiful. He couldn't believe he was getting sucked back in after one drunken phone call and a night in her bed. He had buried his feelings for her so far down that he had convinced himself they weren't even there. He knew he had rushed into things with Quinn and this was the first time he was really realizing him. Of course the entire time she was moving her stuff, well her clothes and coffee mugs (he still didn't understand why she wouldn't move any of her stuff in, Robin would never let him get away with that), he knew in the back of his mind that they were rushing things. The problem was he was so broken after what happened with Robin, he needed something, that something being Quinn, to make him feel better. He knew it was a bad idea, jumping into this thing with Quinn, he _knew _they shouldn't do this for so many reasons. But he needed to cling to this relationship with Quinn. He _needed _this.

He rubbed his hand over his face and made his way out of the apartment building. He contemplated going back to his apartment and changing, but he had extra suits in his office. Plus, he didn't want to have to face Quinn. Not yet. He needed time to think of a good reason for why he was out last night. Actually, he could probably admit the truth. After all, Quinn wasn't aware of his relationship with Robin, but it probably wasn't acceptable to spend the night at a woman's apartment, no matter what the circumstances. Maybe she hadn't even noticed he was gone? He was pretty smooth.

He sighed barely glancing at anyone as he entered the GNB building. He needed to stop all this thinking, especially about things he had no answer for. That's why he made Robin agree to meet him at MacLaren's tonight. Ever since he woke up this morning, he had been playing back their conversation in his head trying to pick up clues, to figure out some way to fix the mess that had become Robin's personal life. At least, he was assuming it was her personal life considering she had finally gotten her dream job. It scared him that she finally got the job she wanted, and worked so hard for, and she still wasn't happy. It scared him even more that he wanted to do something about it. He knew it wasn't his job, he knew it wasn't even his right to try to fix it but he wanted to. He couldn't stand seeing Robin upset and falling apart. It was killing him. And it hurt even more that he was partly to blame. Although, it was a lot of her doing, but he still felt guilty and like he wanted to throw a punch or two at Ted for being so insensitive.

But besides the obvious signs that she was falling apart at the seams, he couldn't stop thinking about their conversation in the cab. It was, by far, the most confusing part of the night. Granted drunk people never make much sense, but he couldn't make any sense of what had happened. Well, he understood the part about making a dumb decision by picking Kevin, which he couldn't help but agree with. But what exactly did that mean? Did that mean Robin had really wanted to pick him that night, but had chickened out and picked Kevin? He didn't think he should really dig deeper into those thoughts because he was in a committed relationship. A serious committed relationship. One where he shouldn't be thinking about his ex all the time, otherwise this would end just like Nora did and he wasn't okay with that. He immediately dropped that line of thought.

The one thing that happened last night that he couldn't stop thinking about was Robin's comment about kids. She had said that he wanted kids. He didn't know when she ever got that idea into her head. Sure, he wasn't as against the idea as he used to be, but that didn't mean he wanted a kid. A human being dependent on him 24/7 for 18 years. That was a big responsibility for him to take on. One he wasn't sure he wanted to. He could be perfectly content to be an uncle and never have children of his own. It was what she said afterward that really had him puzzled, though.

"_I couldn't give them to you even if I wanted to. But it's fine because I don't want them. It's not like I picture a blonde boy in a suit…" _

He couldn't stop thinking about it. She couldn't give them to him? Last time he checked, Robin was perfectly able to produce children. He kept looking at the comment from different angles, but he was completely lost on its meaning. And she pictured a blonde boy in a suit? Actually, she had said that she hadn't pictured the boy, but that was obviously not true. But he wasn't sure how to interpret it. To him, it sounded like she pictured having children with him, which was a big deal. A huge deal. Robin never envisioned a future with anyone.

So, if she had, in fact, pictured having his children. That meant she was being honest about making the dumb decision by choosing Kevin. Which could possibly translate into her still being in love with him. And he didn't know how he felt about it. He wasn't sure he wanted to think about it.

He just needed to remember he had Quinn. They were a good match. They got along really well. They had great sex. Honestly, what more did you need in a relationship?

Of course, he refused to think about the fact he had just spent the last hour and a half dissecting one drunk conversation with Robin, while he barely thought in detail about anything Quinn said regarding their relationship. He couldn't think about it because it was a very dangerous line he was starting to go down.

Instead, he was going to sit at his desk, pretend to do his work, and not think about Quinn or Robin. Although that was easier said than done.


	3. Chapter Three

_Sorry this took my so long to update, guys! I feel so bad, but I had kind of a busy weekend. I waited in line for 18 hours to get Saturday Night Live tickets and I did! I got to see Kristen Wiig's last show. TEARS. Ah, so sad. Anyways, I honestly don't know how long this story is going to end up being. It seems to keep getting longer as I continue to write, but we'll see what happens. Thank you guys so much for all the reviews, alerts, reads, favorites! You guys are amazing! I hope you liked this chapter, let me know!_

* * *

Robin was running her finger around the rim of her glass waiting for Barney to show up. She hadn't taken a sip of the scotch since she ordered it, but it was still nice to have it there. She had spent almost all day trying to retrace the events of last night, but couldn't remember anything. She finally decided to give it up. It's not like anything she said could have made her relationship with Barney any worse. They were barely talking anyway, which killed her because Barney was her best friend. Was being the key word. Barney was her best friend until November when she completely screwed up that relationship beyond repair. And even though it was hard she managed to go on with her life. Go on without Barney and not think about what a great loss it was. She thought she was managing perfectly fine until Ted. Losing Ted seemed to emphasize the loss she felt with Barney. It was just too much to handle. One minute she had Kevin, Barney, and Ted, but then in a blink of an eye they were all gone. She only had Lily and Marshall, who were preoccupied with a good excuse but it still hurt.

Robin glanced up when the door to MacLaren's opened and she made eye-contact with Ted. He hesitated in the doorway before exiting the bar. She sighed and put her head in her hands. Her life had turned to such shit and it was all her own fault. The untouched scotch in front of her was gone with just a couple of sips. She had been okay until Ted showed up and subsequently left.

"Whoa, might want to slow down." A voice suddenly said after she took a sip form her second scotch. Her head snapped up and met Barney's concerned gaze. Robin shrugged placing the glass back down on the table. Barney sat down across from her and she was suddenly very aware of how much had changed. She didn't even know what to say to him.

"Thanks for, uh, taking me home last night." She said lamely.

"No problem, Scherbatsky." She internally winced at the familiar nickname. She was pretty sure the last time Barney called her that was when he was still with Nora. She sighed trying not to hate herself too much. Every time she thought about the last couple months, she couldn't help but be mad at herself. Everything that had gone wrong had been her fault, 100%. She glanced over at Barney, who was staring at her intently.

"So, I invited Marshall and Lily but they're going to dinner with Mickey." Robin explained trying to fill the silence.

"Maybe we could convince Ted to come down?" He suggested. She figured she must have talked about the Ted situation last night because Barney was talking in a gentle tone as if he didn't want to upset her.

"He was already here."

"He was?" Barney asked surprised.

"Yeah. He walked in, saw me, and left."

"I'm sorry he's taking this so hard." Robin shrugged off Barney's apology and stared at the table. There was a long pause in the conversation and Robin couldn't help but hope that Barney would leave for some reason or another. "You know that I'm here, if you need to talk."

"I know." She said quietly. She knew he was sincere, but Barney was probably the last one Robin would open up to at this point. Too many of her thoughts and emotions were directed at him. She thought she might be able to talk to Lily, but Lily had much better things to do than listen to the mess Robin made of her life. Plus, Lily was the epitome of everything Robin couldn't have at the moment. They were both silent again and all Robin could think about was how much she hated this. Barney was once the person who she told everything to. He knew about her issues with her dad, her insecurities, her first love, her favorite things to do. Before November, Robin wouldn't have even hesitated to call Barney her best friend, but now they were barely even friends. Across from her, Barney took a deep breath and cleared his throat to get her attention. She looked up and he opened his mouth to speak.

"Look, I know that we've been through some stuff lately and that we haven't exactly been telling each other everything lately, but I'm worried about you, Robin." She froze. Robin honestly hadn't realized that it was so obvious she was falling apart.

"You have nothing to worry about." She waved his concern away trying to act nonchalant.

"You know that's not going to work on me."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Barney." Honestly, Robin was exhausted and sick of everything. She was sick of keeping her emotions in. She was sick of pretending that losing Barney hadn't bothered her. She was sick of acting like her infertility was no big deal. She couldn't take anymore emotional blows. And she was afraid if Barney kept pushing she just might explode.

"Talk to me," he requested leaning back against the booth. Robin couldn't help the snort that escaped. Barney was the last person she wanted to talk to.

"About what?"

"About last night." He stated. "Why'd you get drunk?" She knew what Barney was doing. He was trying to get her to crack and tell him everything. He was pushing her to her breaking point because he knew it wasn't very far.

"Barney, stop!" She instructed trying to keep her voice steady.

"Robin," he said quietly leaning forward on the table. "You can tell me." He said softly reaching across the table to touch her arm.

"I don't want to talk about it." Robin maintained trying to ignore the feeling she got just from Barney touching her.

"You owe it to me. I left my bed, I left my girlfriend at three in the morning to come pick you up from the bar. You can at least tell me why." Barney pushed.

"I didn't ask you to come and get me. I would have been fine."

"That's a lie and you know it. If you don't talk about it, it's just going to get worse."

"You don't know that." Robin replied sulkily crossing her arms. She did want to talk about everything, though. Just not with Barney. She wanted to talk to anyone but Barney.

"What's wrong?" He repeated and Robin ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

"I feel like my life has turned to complete shit!" She yelled in frustration. "Two of my best friends are barely speaking to me. My fiancé, God, I got fucking engaged and he left because I couldn't have kids. The only other person I can really talk to, I can't talk to because she's the example of everything I thought I didn't want but actually might want. And it's impossible to sit around and pretend everything's okay for everyone else's sake because everything is pretty far from okay. Actually, everything sucks." Barney leaned back with wide eyes trying to process everything she just threw at him. On the other hand, Robin was starting to panic. She hadn't meant for any of that to come out, especially not to Barney. She took a deep breath and stuttered out an apology to Barney before rushing out of MacLaren's.

* * *

Barney sat there staring at the space Robin had just vacated. He didn't even know what to do. He wanted to follow her, to go after her but he was pretty sure that was the last thing Robin wanted. So, he sat in the booth trying to process all the information thrown at him.

"_Two of my best friends are barely speaking to me."_

He felt a little guilty about that one. But he had thought it was best for both of them to have some space. Plus, she'd been so upset around Christmas time. He figured that all had to do with him and their night together. So, he backed off. He stopped referring to their relationship and basically stopped talking to her altogether. He had thought that was what she wanted.

"_My fiancé, God, I got fucking engaged, and he left because I couldn't have kids."_

He knew this was a callback to the kids comments she had made in the cab last night. This time, though, she said she couldn't have kids. Not that she didn't want to, but that she couldn't, which puzzled him because it hadn't been that long ago she had a pregnancy scare. So, she must have meant to say wouldn't and said couldn't instead? That was honestly the only thing he could think of.

"_The only other person I can really talk to, I can't talk to because she's the example of everything I thought I didn't want, but actually might want." _

He knew she was talking about Lily. And it killed him that it hurt her to even talk to Lily. He might not know what she was referring to, but even when she had problems with him and Ted in the past, she could always talk to Lily or vice versa. But he was beginning to realize that lately Robin hadn't had anyone to talk to, which explained why she named Carl her new best friend.

He sighed and put his head in his hands. He wanted to be there for Robin, but obviously Robin didn't feel like she could talk to him. Not that he blamed her, but he missed her. A lot. His phone started to ring and he glanced at the caller ID hoping it might be Robin calling for some reason. Although, he knew it wasn't. He already scared her off. It was Quinn. He silenced it and slipped it back in his pocket. He was in no mood to talk to her right now. He squeezed his eyes shut and blinked several times when he opened them. He felt like shit.

"Whoa, what happened?" Marshall asked sitting down across from him as Lily slid in next to Marshall.

"Nothing," he mumbled with a shrug. He was pretty sure Robin didn't want them to know about her outburst.

"Where's Robin?" Lily asked looking around. "Weren't you guys supposed to hang out tonight?"

"She just left."

"Didn't go well?" Lily questioned sympathetically.

"It went the opposite of well. I pushed her to tell me what was wrong and she, just, she exploded."

"Like literally?" Marshall asked earning glares from Lily and Barney. "I just wanted to make sure she was still alive." He muttered moodily.

"What'd she say?"

"That her life turned to shit." Barney said, the guilt creeping up on him again. "She said she feels like she has no one she can talk to and then something about Kevin that I didn't understand."

"What'd she say?"

"That he left her because she couldn't have kids." He shrugged completely lost on the meaning. Marshall and Lily shared a look and Barney could tell they were having one of their telepathic conversations. "Guys," he said gaining their attention.

"Robin never told you?" Lily asked.

"Told me what?" Barney asked getting impatient. He didn't know what they knew that he didn't, but he didn't like it. He was always the one who knew Robin the best. He was the one Robin would go to. And now everyone knew something he didn't and it wasn't okay.

"Around Christmas Robin found out that she was infertile and it was one of the reasons that Kevin and Robin broke up."

"What?" For some reason, Barney felt like he had been physically delivered a blow. His stomach hurt and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He didn't even know why. He was happy with Quinn. And it's not like he was ever planning on having kids anyway. Suddenly he remembered the comment Robin made last night that he had spent all day dissecting. _"I couldn't give them to you, even if I wanted to." _Was she honestly worried that they would never have a chance again because she couldn't have kids? That was ridiculous. He had the sudden urge to run after her. To assure her that whether or not she could have kids, he loved her no matter what. But the ringing of his phone once again reminded him of Quinn. It wasn't his job to make Robin feel better no matter how much he wanted to. Besides, she didn't seem to want to make any time for him. He may never be as happy with Quinn as he could be with Robin, but at least being with Quinn allowed him to feel something other than pain.

He sighed and dug in his pocket for his phone. He was going to call Quinn back, because he hadn't seen her since the night before when he left to get Robin. He quickly answered his phone and agreed to pick up Chinese so they could have a late dinner together after she got off work. He had to get Robin off his mind. She didn't belong there anymore.

"Can you make sure she's okay? I'm going to have dinner with Quinn." He told them leaving the bar before either of them could protest. Quinn, he reminded himself. Quinn couldn't hurt him or make him worry this much or cause him this many problems. Quinn had to be his choice.


	4. Chapter Four

_I cannot apologize enough for how long this took. I've been super busy the last month and I could bore you with the details, but I'm sure you don't care. Also, I had horrible writer's block, although I'm working through it. I know this isn't the greatest chapter and I'm sorry, but hey, at least I updated, right? Anyways, thank you guys for all the positive feedback on this story, I'm glad you like it! I'll hopefully update again in a week or so, so yeah let me know what you thought! Thank you, guys, so so so much!_

* * *

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked concerned putting the leftover Chinese food in the fridge, then taking a seat next to Barney on the couch.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." He mumbled not turning to look at her.

"Barney," she said in a voice that commanded his attention. Barney turned to look at her trying to drive away all other thoughts, mostly of Robin, from his head. "You've been acting weird all day. What's going on?" He opened his mouth to speak, but Quinn cut him off. "And don't say nothing."

"I'm just tired." He shrugged.

"Maybe it's because you were MIA this morning." She said dropping her bombshell. Barney froze and didn't even dare bring his eyes to meet hers. "Yeah, it was really weird I woke up at, like, four and you were nowhere to be found. And even stranger you never came home this morning."

"I-" He sighed trying to come up with a good excuse. "Ted was drunk, Carl called me to take him home."

"That doesn't explain why you never came home."

"It was late, I figured I'd just crash there. It wasn't a big deal." Quinn stared him down like she didn't quite believe him, but he honestly didn't have enough energy to care. He couldn't stop thinking about Robin and how upset she had been when she fled from MacLaren's earlier. He was worried, but he was pretty sure that he was the last person she wanted to hear from.

"Barney!" She snapped trying to get his attention.

"Sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night with taking care of Drunk Ted and everything." He lied easily. "I just need a good night's sleep. I'll be good as new tomorrow."

"Whatever, I don't have anymore time to deal with you being weird. The Lusty Leopard is short, so I have to go in." She sighed leaning down to kiss him. He tried not to look too excited at the prospect of Quinn leaving, but as soon as she was gone he was going after Robin. He knew it was a dangerous play, but he needed to see her. He had to make sure she was alright and not drunk off her ass making stupid decisions.

"I'll be here when you get home," he promised. Quinn walked to the door and paused briefly once it was opened. She looked like she wanted to ask him something, but he prayed she wouldn't. He just wanted her to leave so he could get out of there too. She opened her mouth, but then closed it and shook her head quickly backing out the door. He waited about ten minutes before he decided it was safe to leave. He didn't want to have to answer more of Quinn's questions that he had no good answers for. It's not like he wanted to lie to her, he obviously cared about her. He just knew he couldn't tell her the truth where Robin was concerned.

Barney sighed running a hand over his face and made his way out of his building. Once the cab pulled up outside Robin's apartment he realized he had no idea what to say. He didn't even know that she was there. For all he knew, she was at some bar. But hopefully she'd be in her apartment. He jumped out of the cab (literally, jumped) and walked very quickly towards the door to Robin's apartment. He knocked before he could talk himself out of it. He breathed an audible sigh of relief when the door swung open and Robin was on the other side. He took in her appearance and noticed how disheveled she was. The first thing he noted was the obvious signs she had been crying and he immediately felt like an asshole. No matter how much he hadn't meant to, it was clearly his fault that Robin was like this.

"Barney," she greeted in a quiet, defeated voice.

"Can I come in?" He asked hesitantly. He thought this might have been the first time he was ever worried Robin wouldn't invite him. Normally, he would just barge in without knocking but now he was worried she wouldn't even accept him in. God, when did their relationship get so fucked up? Well, he knew the answer to that and that was the last thing he wanted to think about right now. She stepped aside and allowed him enough room to enter the apartment, but still didn't speak. Once he was in, she closed the door behind him and took a seat on the couch and he joined her. They sat in silence for what felt like forever before he decided to speak.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He questioned quietly.

"It wasn't for you to worry about." Robin answered, eyes still glued to the floor.

"You could've talked to me."

"We aren't really in a 'bare your soul' type place right now, Barney."

"It doesn't matter. You can always, always talk to me." He said sincerely.

"I know." Robin said running her hands through her hair. "I know." She repeated letting out a breath. "But it's not easy between us right now, which is all my fault, I know but it's still so hard."

"It doesn't have to be, though." He didn't want it to be. He wanted to go back to how things used to be. When they were bros and told each other (almost) everything. They sat in silence for another couple of minutes, both stewing in their own thoughts. Robin had her legs tucked under her and her chin propped up on her hand. Barney was sitting on the edge of the couch, his elbows resting on his knees. "It's not a deal breaker." Barney murmured quietly chancing a glance at Robin.

"Huh?"

"Not being able to have kids," he clarified. "It's not a deal breaker."

"I know. It doesn't really matter. I mean, I never wanted kids. I still don't." He could tell she was trying to convince herself more than him.

"It's okay to be upset." Robin quickly shook her head wiping away a stray tear.

"I'm fine." Barney laughed sardonically

"Really? Because you did not seem fine at MacLaren's tonight."

"You pushed me!" She defended.

"Because you're obviously not fine!" Robin groaned, stood up, and began pacing around the living room.

"Why are you even here, Barney? Don't you have a girlfriend to go home to?" She asked frustrated.

"Don't try and change the subject."

"I'm not. I just don't understand what you're doing here." He knew he was trying Robin's patience by showing up at her apartment, but he was worried about her.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Well, I'm fine." She muttered wrenching the door open. Barney sighed.

"Robin-"

"Save it," she said holding a hand up. "Look, Barney, I know you're trying to help but right now I want to be alone so, I think it might be better if you just go home to Quinn."

"Robin," he tried again walking toward her. "I just wanted to talk."

"We talked."

"I'm worried about you." He said stopping outside the door.

"Well, there's nothing to be worried about. Now you know everything that's going on with me, you've done your good deed for the day. You can go home in good conscience."

"That's not why I was here." Robin sighed and shook her head.

"Go home, Barney. There's nothing you can do." She said in a tired voice. He hesitated outside the door. "I'm fine." He nodded and turned to leave. He was struck again by how much he didn't want to leave Robin. He wanted to make everything bad go away for her. He knew it wasn't his job, or even his place really, and Robin clearly didn't want him there, but he hated seeing her upset. He shook his head realizing he wasn't getting anywhere tonight and started to make his way back home.

* * *

After she closed the door, Robin leaned against it and bit her lip to prevent the tears she was certain were going to fall. She felt awful for kicking Barney out the way that she had, but he didn't need to witness another one of her breakdowns, which was dangerously close to happening. The biggest reason she didn't tell Barney about her infertility was his reaction. She didn't know how he would feel about it. He said that it wasn't a deal breaker, but she wasn't sure if that was a general statement or if that applied to him too. Not that it mattered what he thought, she reminded herself, he had Quinn. He was happy with Quinn. Hell, they were even living together. She shook her head stepping away from the door, she couldn't think about it.

Robin was going to go into work, not because she had to, because she needed to distract herself. She grabbed her coat and was prepared to head out the door when there was another knock. She cursed under her breath and pulled the door open praying it was anyone but Barney.

"Marshall?" She asked in surprise.

"Hey," he gave her a small smile stepping into the apartment when she gave him the room. "Barney told us what happened." He said explaining his presence and she nodded knowingly.

"Well, you just missed him."

"He came here?" Robin could hear the surprise in his voice and her eyebrows drew together in confusion.

"Yeah," she said slowly. "Why are you so surprised?"

"Because he asked us to make sure you were okay. He was going home to have dinner with Quinn." Robin sighed.

"Look, if you're here to check up on me; I'm fine." She repeated the phrase for the millionth time today.

"Lily told me everything." Marshall revealed taking a seat on the couch.

"Of course she did," Robin muttered sitting down next to him. "I know you think Barney and Quinn are perfect for each other and don't worry I'm not trying to interfere. I just make dumb decisions when I'm drunk."

"Did you really think that was what I was going to say?" Robin shrugged. She could tell Marshall was a little hurt by the assumption, but it was. After all, the last time they spoke one on one Marshall was telling her she needed to move out of her place with Ted. It's not like she blamed him, he had a right to be concerned about his friends. She was kind of the destructive force in their lives, always ruining everything. "Lily and I were worried about you, not Barney and Quinn. Besides Barney and Quinn might be a good match, but they are in no way perfect for each other."

"What do you mean?" She asked suddenly more interested in what Marshall was saying.

"Nothing," he quickly replied looking guilty.

"Marshall."

"You and Barney need to sit down and have an honest conversation. Lay it all out there," he instructed standing up. She nodded, even though she knew it was never going to happen. Talking about her feelings is the last thing she wanted to do, especially with Barney. "You're both obviously still in love with each other."

"I'm not in love with Barney." Robin denied vehemently. "Even if I was, you seem to be forgetting that Barney has a girlfriend. A live in girlfriend," she repeated for emphasis on how serious the relationship was.

"Talk to Barney," he repeated before walking out the door. "Also, Lily has a birthing video she wants to watch so, if you could come over around 4 tomorrow. That'd be great." He said popping his head in and flashing her a wide smile one last time before leaving. Robin locked the door behind him and collapsed on the couch with her head in her hands trying to filter all the information she'd been given. God, her life was such a mess.

* * *

Barney sighed in defeat when he entered his apartment. The conversation with Robin had gone absolutely nowhere. She was just more frustrated and angry with him. He would give it a couple of days, then try and talk to her again. Maybe she would be more receptive then. He just wanted their friendship to get back to where it had been, which he was starting to think was completely impossible at this point. She wouldn't talk to him or tell him anything. He used to be the one she went to with everything and now he was the last person to know important, life-changing things about her. He took off his suit jacket and threw it on the couch, loosening his tie and walking toward the bedroom. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Quinn sitting on his (their) bed. "Quinn? Weren't you going into work?"

"Where were you?" She asked taking in his defeated appearance.

"I just had a few things to take care of."

"I thought you were going to bed when I left."

"I had stuff to do." He mumbled falling onto the bed. Quinn sighed not seeming to accept his answer.

"When were you going to tell me about you and Robin?" She asked and Barney froze. Well, shit.


	5. Chapter Five

_Once again, I'm so so sorry this took so long. I feel terrible for how long this took. You should probably all hate me. I don't even have a good excuse. I'm sorry, guys! I will say that this story has one more chapter. I want to thank you guys so much for all your feedback! And your reviews and alerts and favorites is really what pushed me to finally finish this chapter. Anyway, I hope you guys like this and let me know what you thought!_

* * *

Robin wasn't an idiot. She knew she needed to talk to Barney. There were a lot of unsaid things between them, but honestly Robin didn't think there was a reason to say them at this point in time. There's a saying: to everything there is a season, or something like that and right now isn't her and Barney's "season". Barney was with Quinn and there was no reason to bog him down with all of her feelings. There would be a time and a place to tell Barney how she felt, eventually. But that time wasn't now. So, basically, she was going to keep her mouth shut, pretend she was totally fine with Barney and Quinn, and forget about the fact that she hated that they weren't friends anymore. Whatever, there was no point worrying about it right now. She just needed to get some sleep.

* * *

Barney told Quinn everything, because he figured he had to at least be honest with her. He owed her that much. Besides, Quinn somehow seemed to know everything, so even if he tried to hide it from her, he couldn't. And he'd bet all of his money in the world that Lily was the secret informant. Not because she was trying to sabotage his relationship, well he was pretty sure that wasn't the reason, he figured it was because Quinn had confronted Lily and Lily couldn't keep a secret. But, anyway, all of that lead to this moment:

"Look, I just think that maybe you should stop seeing Robin for awhile. She clearly still has feelings for you." Barney ran a hand over his face and shook his head.

"I can't stop seeing Robin." He declared getting agitated. He stood up and started pacing. He knew there was no way he could have this conversation sitting completely still.

"Then we're over." Quinn stated crossing her arms.

"Quinn-" Barney pleaded with her.

"No, I've been understanding this entire relationship. I barely moved any of my stuff in, I considered quitting my job, I accepted your friends, but I can't sit around and watch you and your ex make eyes at each other all the time. So, either you stop seeing Robin or we're done." Barney sighed loudly and shrugged.

"There's nothing going on between me and Robin." He said forcefully. "We're barely even friends anymore." He murmured quietly running the last couple of months through his head.

"So, you just go pick up drunk girls and spend the night at their house when you're barely even friends?" Quinn asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She's going through a rough time and Carl called me to help. I couldn't leave her there." He defended.

"No, but you didn't have to lie to me about it and you definitely didn't have to spend the night at her house."

"I was tired," Barney shrugged not even daring to look at Quinn. At this point, he knew it was over. In fact, Quinn already said it, so, he wasn't sure why she was bothering to argue with him. They were over, they both knew it. This fight was just making things worse.

"That's not a good excuse and you know it."

"Why are we even arguing if you're going to break up with me?" He asked tiredly collapsing onto the couch.

"I was giving you a chance to maybe save this relationship, which clearly you have no interest in doing." Barney turned toward her hesitantly putting a hand on her knee.

"Quinn, I really care about you but you can't ask me to stop seeing one of my best friends. I can't do it."

"Are you in love with Robin?" She blurted out and Barney froze. He opened his mouth to answer and then closed it, realizing he didn't know how to answer that question.

"We're going to be over no matter how you answer it, so you might as well be honest." He rubbed a hand over his face and shrugged.

"I, uh, I don't know." Quinn sighed and stood up grabbing her purse.

"Whatever, I'm staying with a friend tonight and I'll come grab my stuff while you're at work tomorrow." She gave him a sad smile and a soft kiss on the cheek. "Bye, Barney." She said before slipping out the door.

* * *

As it turned out, Robin couldn't sleep. Her head was full of thoughts and she still felt bad or the way she treated Barney earlier. She had basically kicked him out of her apartment and her conversation with Marshall was still on a constant loop. Besides, as crazy as Marshall could be he generally gave good advice and she wasn't getting anywhere with her way of doing things, so maybe she should try someone else's way. She knew the only way she would sleep was if she at least apologized or something. Before she could talk herself out it, she was already out of bed dialing his number.

"Hello?" Barney's tired voice floated across the line.

"Hey," she said still wondering if this phone call was a good idea. "I, uhm, wanted to apologize for earlier. I was upset and I took it out on you and you were just trying to help. I jus-just I haven't been myself lately. And I guess I'm apologizing for the other night too and actually the last six months. God, Barney, I'm such an idiot. And now, I'm rambling. So, I'm sorry. I'm just really sorry." Robin mumbled biting her bottom lip to keep herself from talking more. Barney laughed softly on the other end and Robin let her lips twitch up in a slight smile. At least he didn't sound mad at her, that was a definite good thing.

"Do you think you could come over?" Robin hesitated thinking about all the things that could potentially go wrong if she went over to Barney's, but she also knew that at this point she couldn't deny him anything.

"Is Quinn there?" She finally asked and Barney barked out a harsh laugh that startled her.

"No, no, Quinn's not here."

"Oh, okay. Uhm, yeah. I'll be there in twenty minutes?"

"Okay, good." And Robin could hear the genuine smile in his voice, which put her at ease. She hung up the phone and quickly changed out of her pajamas. She realized as soon as she got in the car that her hands were shaking and when they pulled up outside Barney's apartment 10 minutes later. As she made her way up to his floor, she tried to calm her nerves and she reminded herself that it was just Barney. She shouldn't be nervous going to see Barney. She took a deep breath and collected herself before knocking on the door. Barney answered looking disheveled, well, disheveled by Barney's standards. His tie was loose and half of his shirt was untucked, but he managed to smile at her as he ushered her in. She sat down on the couch and Barney soon followed. He opened his mouth to speak, but Robin quickly cut him off.

"Okay, I had-have no intention of getting in between you and Quinn. I don't want you to think that's what this is about." Barney opened his mouth again. "No, just let me get this out. Please?" Barney nodded. "I know this is long overdue, but I'm really sorry about what happened in November. I think I may have apologized when I was drunk?"

"You did," he said with a soft laugh.

"Well, now that I'm sober, I'm sorry Barney. I was so afraid of us, of what could happen that I didn't even give it a chance and it was stupid. And I hate myself every day for how much I hurt you. I know I can't take it back and that you're with Quinn, but, God, I really really miss you. I want my best friend back." She said quietly glancing over at Barney. She was a little struck by the open way she was talking about her feelings. But it was probably long overdue, especially by the way her life was falling apart lately.

* * *

"I really miss you too." He reached across the space between them to grab Robin's hand. "And I guess, you can be the first one to know: Quinn and I broke up."

"What?" She asked with wide eyes. "You and Quinn broke up? When?"

"A couple of hours ago," he admitted.

"Are you okay?" She squeezed his hand, her face turning into a mask of concern and he felt the sparks between him and Robin again. It was impossible for them to be alone together without it happening.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It really isn't a big deal."

"Isn't a big deal?" Robin asked raising an eyebrow. "Barney, she moved into your apartment. That's the most serious you've ever been with anyone." He felt his stomach drop a little when he realized Robin was right. He couldn't believe he let things get this serious with Quinn, especially with the way he felt about Robin.

"Yeah, but I was kind of an idiot."

"What happened?" He paused trying to decide what lie he could make up to tell Robin. He obviously couldn't tell her the truth. Or maybe he could. Maybe it was time they both stopped hiding from their feelings. He knew that was the reason Robin hadn't broken up with Kevin, she didn't believe in what her and Barney had. And he totally understood that because that night, he really hadn't given her a reason to believe he would leave Nora, he hadn't given her a reason that he wouldn't break her heart. But after this entire thing with Quinn, he was convinced (and he was going to say a very Ted-like thing) that Robin was his one and he owed it to himself to try one last time.

"The real version?" He asked and he knew she would understand what that meant. He was giving her an out, so she wouldn't have to deal with emotional stuff. This was Robin's chance to say that this wouldn't go any further. He watched as she mulled the question over and finally nodded her head in affirmation. "She, uh, she wanted me to stop hanging out with you."

"Why?" Robin asked quietly and he was pretty sure she knew what he was going to say before she said it.

"She thinks we still have feelings for each other." He decided to push his luck, he knew he was going to have to in order to get Robin to admit to anything. "Which is ridiculous, right?" Robin was silent for awhile and Barney worried that maybe he had pushed it to far, but then she looked up to meet his gaze.

"Is it, though?" His eyes widened in surprise. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but that wasn't it. "I have to stop running away from everything that makes me happy." She said more to herself than to him, but he felt his heart rate pick up. "I want to be with you, Barney. And I totally understand if you don't want-" He cut her off with a kiss, not letting her finish that sentence. Once it was necessary to separate for air, they pulled away both breathing heavy.

"I want that. Of course, I want that." He met her eyes and they gave each other wide smiles.

"Wait, before," Robin took a deep breath steadying her voice and Barney braced himself for whatever she was going to say. "Before we do this for real, we need to talk."

"Okay," he nodded pulling away from her slightly.

"How bad do you want kids, Barney? Because I don't want to take that away from you. I can't take that away from you. You deserve to have a family, if you want it. You shouldn't miss out just because there's something wrong with me." His heart broke at the way she looked away from him and the tone of her voice. He put a hand on her cheek turning her face to look at him.

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with you at all. And I don't need kids, I don't even want them. We can be the most awesome aunt and uncle in history. As long as I have you, nothing else matters." Robin raised an eyebrow and he couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I did just say that. But I'm serious, I'm in this for real, for the long haul. No more stupid break ups." He mumbled twirling a strand of hair around his finger.

"Let's get married!" She said suddenly and Barney pulled away stunned. He couldn't help but think of their conversation in the hospital room years ago when they were Mosbying each other, but this didn't feel like that. This felt strangely real.

"What?" He asked eyes wide. Robin bit her lip and for a moment Barney thought she was going to take everything back, but she plowed ahead.

"We're both in this for real. We know we don't want to break up again, so what's stopping us from getting married?" He could hear the slight nervousness in her voice and he felt bad for not responding more enthusiastically but he was so shocked by the suggestion, he was still trying to wrap his head around it. Finally, he nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. Let's do it!" He said smiling at Robin.

"Really?"

"Really. I have a guy, who can get us a marriage license and an appointment at the court house tomorrow, if you're serious." Her eyes softened and she smiled.

"Of course, I'm serious. But I think we're missing one more important step."

"And what is that?" He asked raising an eyebrow, still smiling widely. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to wipe the smile off his face. Robin took a deep breath and her face was suddenly serious.

"I love you, Barney." She said taking his face in between her hands. "I really, really love you." He leaned forward kissing her deeply, then pulled back slightly placing their foreheads together.

"I love you, too."

"God, when did we get so sappy?" Robin laughed.

"Only you can do this to me, Scherbatsky."


End file.
